Process

I started the photo essay with some trepidation. I've got to be honest...today I had a bit of an "off day." I was dragging before I even started working on my project, and for whatever reason I couldn't right it before the day was over. I kept telling myself to get my head in the game, but couldn't seem to muster up any deep thinking about any component of my project. I didn't have a conceptual framework, just pictures.


As I created, more and more frustrated me. Animoto was the first program I attempted to use. It worked fairly well after I found the tiny print (probably meant to be ignored) showing how I could create a 30-second movie for free. But when I began to add pictures, the fact that I didn't like the pictures I was adding coalesced with the fact that my Flash Player kept crashing started to get under my skin. I blame this on my 5-6 year old Macbook, although it's doing remarkably well for how old it is in computer years. So, no big deal - I was a little irritated, but I scrapped that project and switched to Google presentations. Google has some well-crafted templates one one page I came across. But for some reason I could not find the original page after searching for a while, and the slides I viewed on the main page were too much like PowerPoint. So I switched back to Animoto, which I used to produce my barely acceptable rough draft.  


By this point it was lunch time, and I welcomed a break. My eyes were heavy and my brain was flatlining. After lunch I had renewed zeal. After talking to others in my writing group, I gained some conceptual ideas as well as the video formats that are most compatible with blog posts (really practical information that I needed to know!) I took several photos and decided where my story needed to begin. Using iMovie this time (which, to me, was much more customizable and user friendly), I adjusted the photos to narrow my story and soon I had a coherent narrative thread running through. It's amazing how a little manipulation and pausing to reflect can really influence the entire project within a matter of minutes. I still didn't feel great about it...it just wasn't meant to be today. 


I did, however, learn the process. I learned what worked for me and what didn't -- I personally should have come up with a concept and taken time to brainstorm or reflect before I started throwing pictures in there. My reticence stood in my way today, which made me think about how I could counteract this in the classroom. I certainly think that creating a photo story was worthwhile. On any other day, I would have absolutely loved it...but my final product was bad and my sluggishness kept me from moving forward or backward to start the recursive editorial process. Taking unrelated objects and events, I created transitions. Creating those connections and synapses in my rusty brain forced me to examine the pictures and what they stood for. I made meaning out of a landscape or object, just as I would when analyzing literature. I created metaphors and a general theme. I had to summarize information and communicate using unexpected methods. I learned the creation tools of three different programs, which I will definitely be able to use in the future. I had to push through writer's block and technical obstacles. 


On our last break of the day, I sat outside by myself to recharge. [I am an introvert, which means that social interaction does not invigorate me, like extroverts; although I like it, it drains me dry.] I had two minor epiphanies that I probably already knew but needed to think about at that moment. I realized that it was good that I struggled, and that I am not a filmmaker. And, are you ready for this wallop of wisdom and insight?: My project can have flaws -- this is a draft! I kept hearing it from everyone throughout the day, but all of a sudden I just felt it. I became OK with the fact that my story was not 100%. I do not usually struggle with these types of projects. Technology is where I thrive, where I am asked for guidance. So, as we said today, it was all that much harder to bear that I wasn't getting it all the way today. But I think I'm slowly getting it through my head that I don't have to master it. When teaching, I don't think you can master every piece of technology, and I have to be more realistic about my abilities. The other thing I realized was that today, I am tired. I have been tired all day, and it has affected my work. Obviously I had been aware of the fact that I was tired, but recognizing that this was not my normal, hardworking self was a relief. 


To feel comfortable, I hope to add some depth and thought to the photo essay. I need more time considering sequence and I need more time to just view the story and see which parts are not effective.  But I consider today's failures and doldrums to be small triumphs in disguise. Learning should not come easily, and I want to keep pushing this and asking questions tomorrow.