What I set out to do

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Taking Eleanor Roosevelt's advice, I set out a few months ago to do something scary (to me) every day. This blog was first created an outlet and instigator for that theme. My hopes were to get out of my comfort zone and experience life a little more fully--without doing so, I would stay stagnant. The things that I wished I was better at would never get that way by just sitting at the same level...I feel like everyone has at least some little obstacles that they are scared of, that they need to overcome. Or at least get better about. 


Then I adopted the blog for class, and it became home to notes, reflections, and project updates for the Ozarks Digital Writing Project. I abandoned those initial goals I had set.   Unknowingly, though, I think that I have actually accomplished (or taken steps toward) what I first set out to do. I was expecting to work in our class, and to learn new tools that I could take with me. But I think I also did something scary every day...and loved it. 


On of the most valuable lessons I learned was from my own learning and from the setup of the class. I didn't even notice that I was learning and growing. I guess that's the point. I was really stuck with an (albeit small) insight when Keri asked, "What if you hadn't been allowed to talk with your groups during the process?" If it had been a lecture class, I would have done the readings, and written down what I felt were the highlights--what the professors seemed to emphasize as the "big idea." If I had taken a test or maybe a culminating paper on the material, I would have crammed, memorized, and then forgotten the "big ideas" as I drove off to enjoy my weekend. I was thinking how we were constantly on Facebook, Google Plus, and some sort of blogging platform. Those sites are usually the distractors, the bane of teachers' careers. But they were actually being used to facilitate our learning, rather than sidetrack us. When we harness those tools, we can actually get to the heart of how students respond and how they really think. 


Writing used to be one of the "scary things" that I was working toward overcoming (by creating of the blog). At least getting past the drafting stage that stressed me out. (This class confirmed it--thinking up ideas is definitely the most challenging aspect of the drafting process for me.) Yet what used to be so stiff and frustrating suddenly began to flow as the week went on. Because there was no guarantee that I would publish the freewriting to my blog, I could write without a thought to judgements. I couldn't wait to write, knowing that this time I would likely reach those thoughts that had been trapped. My thinking began to flow, especially as I reaffirmed the thoughts by sharing them and building upon them at my table with like-minded learners. What I produced was unaltered, authentic reactions to the day's events. I couldn't regurgitate something that everyone else was saying, because everyone's experiences were different and unique to what they wanted to take away. We all worked at the pace we needed to set for ourselves, and we all learned what we needed to. 


I am so glad I got the opportunity to do those scary things every day. I learned it was worth it, and that it can only get better as I keep building on the "scary" things I overcame.